FAQ: Do I Have To ________?

I meet with a lot of brides and the most common questions start with is “Do I/we have to…?”

My answer is pretty much always “No”:
No, you don’t have to have a cake cutting.
No, you don’t have to do a first dance.
No, you don’t have to have flowers on the tables.

No, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to – it is YOUR wedding!

The only exception is that you do have to say, ” I, my name, take you, your name, to be my, wife/husband” or words to that effect and have a registered officiant do the honours. Other than that, your wedding is an empty page, ready for you to write whatever your heart desires (or can afford!) on it… If you want to do those things you’re wondering about, great! If you don’t, that’s also great!

Sometimes that’s easier said than done when so many of your nearest and dearest will have an opinion and expect you to follow it… and when there are parents involved who may or may not be contributing, so think hard about the things that are causing you stress – do you really, really hate the idea of doing something, or are you not bothered? Could you live with it for the sake of peaceful families or friendships? Could you reach a compromise about something you really don’t want if the person who wants it is happy to help you achieve something you can’t live without?

I was determined that I would be the first bride not to get stressed out when planning our wedding… I failed. What I should have done was accept that we would have to compromise on some things and pick the battles I needed to win and the ones I was happy to concede… but, getting my own way or not, I loved my wedding and you’ll love yours too, I promise! You’re marrying your favourite person, after all.

If there’s something you’re not sure about or feel like you’re being pushed into and you want to talk to someone who won’t try to persuade you either way, let’s talk. Maybe about photography, maybe about the thing that’s making you want to pull your hair out, but anything really… I do love a chat.

E xx

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